Idiot Crisis

Ubuntu Linux’s bug database contains an extremely high-priority bug which affects most operating systems.

Summary: Microsoft has a majority market share.

Description: Microsoft has a majority market share in the new desktop PC marketplace. This is a bug, which Ubuntu is designed to fix.

Microsoft has a majority market share | Non-free software is holding back innovation in the IT industry, restricting access to IT to a small part of the world’s population and limiting the ability of software developers to reach their full potential, globally. This bug is widely evident in the PC industry.

(more)

Donald Rumsfeld is briefing President Bush: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the President, “that’s terrible!”
His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.
Finally, he looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

This is a great “parody ad” commercial from Bud Light:

The guys at EepyBird are credited as being responsible for the “Mentos and Diet Coke Fadnomenon.” (YouTube video)

Of course, this inspired all kinds of flattery in the form of imitation, the sincerest form of fucktardery. And why wouldn’t it, when the ingredients are so inexpensive, so easily available online, and can be shipped direct to your door?(Links to buy Mentos and Diet Coke on Amazon, where both products are listed in the Gourmet Food category.)

Check this out: (YouTube video)

And this, which is best at the end, when they have the “Borat Replay”: (YouTube video)

This guy chews up some Mentos and drinks some Diet Coke. Is it hilarity that ensues? (YouTube video)

I’m tempted to do my own. Honestly. I truly am.

Here’s the Truth behind Cheney’s “Hunting Accident”: (not “work-safe”)

Dick Fiction (YouTube video):

On February 11, 2006, Vice-President Dick Cheney was involved in a shooting incident.

The press reported it as a simple hunting mishap.

Here’s what really happened…

The Pulp Fiction trailer (YouTube video):

Another “why didn’t I think of that” web site:

10,000 Reasons Civilization is Doomed

Examples:

Reason #17 The post-9/11 whitewashing of Newark International Airport, which was renamed to Newark Liberty International Airport. - By Aurelio Biondi on August 19, 2006

Reason #18: Plastic bags. By Belladona on August 19, 2006

I think Belladona would look hot in plastic bags. Belladona is just plain ole hot!

Reason #19: Suicide bombers: Stupidest. Idea. Ever. By Nuncio on August 20, 2006

Reason #21: About 1/3 of Americans consider Intelligent Design to be a viable explanation for the origin of species. By Aurelio Biondi on August 20, 2006

Reason #22: Holocaust deniers. By Nuncio on August 20, 2006

Reason #23: Ann Coulter By Rosetta Fellini on August 20, 2006

Exactly.

Thank <insert_diety_name_here> that we have Ze Frank thinking for us. He makes some valid, overlooked points regarding Senator Allen calling a cameraman for his opponent’s campaign “Macaca.”

… the reason that this story is so important is that here in America we take public speaking in office very seriously.

Idiotic statements are ok, but racist ones are not. The Allen campaign has rallied behind the “just an idiot argument” pointing out that Allen didn’t seem to know who was running.

(video clip of Allen saying “his opponent” instead of “his candidate.”)

Honestly, I’d totally overlooked that.

Another portion of the speech that’s come under fire is the “welcome to America” statement.

To be fair, when viewed in context it appears that Allen was trying to make the point that his opponent James Webb was out of touch with the Real America and the Real Virginia.

According to the Washington Post, Allen’s experience of the “Real Virginia” has included keeping a Confederate Flag in his living room, a noose in his law office, and a picture of Confederate troops in his governer’s office. The article states that Allen says that he has “grown since then.”

Incredibly inept oratory indicates incredibly inept thinking. A brilliant example of inept thinking is Allen’s explanation of what he meant by “welcome to America” where he harpoons the reasonable, benefit-of-a-doubt argument suggested by Ze Frank.

Allen said that by the comment welcoming him to America, he meant: “Just to the real world. Get outside the Beltway and get to the real world.”

In the context of the speech, Allen was seemingly trying to connect his opponent (James Webb) to “out-of-touch Hollywood moguls,” not saying that cameraman Sidarth should “get outside the Beltway.” On top of that, doesn’t suggesting that Sidarth should “get outside the Beltway” kinda imply that either Allen recognizes that the Beltway doesn’t represent the complete picture of America or does it mean something else?

But the apology, which came hours after Allen’s campaign manager dismissed the issue with an expletive and insisted the senator has “nothing to apologize for,” did little to mollify Webb’s campaign or Sidarth, who said he suspects Allen singled him out because his was the only nonwhite face among about 100 Republican supporters.

“I think he was doing it because he could, and I was the only person of color there, and it was useful for him in inciting his audience,” said Sidarth, who videotaped the event for the Webb campaign. “I was annoyed he would use my race in a political context.”

DailyKOS weighs in with comments from Conservative bloggers, who aren’t really helping Allen out…

Sheesh. With defenders like these, maybe George Felix Allen Junior should go back to self-incrimination. From Hotline:

According to two Republicans who heard the word used, "macaca" was a mash-up of "Mohawk," referring to Sidarth's distinctive hair, and "caca," Spanish slang for excrement, or "shit."

Said one Republican close to the campaign: “In other words, he was a shit-head, an annoyance.”

Umm. Okay. I guess it’s time to put that little incident behind us. “Shithead” seeming so much more … senatorial and all. Keep on talking, guys.

From the Washington Post article:

It’s not the first time Allen has confronted charges of insensitivity to race or ethnicity from minority leaders and longtime political opponents.

Before he ran for governor in 1993, Allen was criticized for keeping a Confederate flag in a cabin near his Charlottesville home, part of a collection of flags, he has said. He stirred controversy as governor by issuing a proclamation noting the South’s celebration of Confederate History Month without mentioning slavery.

This year, the New Republic magazine published a photo of Allen wearing a Confederate flag on his lapel during high school.

“It wasn’t a racial statement; it was a statement about his rebellious nature,” said John Reid, Allen’s communications director.

Allen campaign manager Dick Wadhams also went on the offensive, accusing Webb of mailing an anti-Semitic flier during his primary this year that contained a caricature of Webb’s Jewish opponent.

According to CNN, Sidarth had met Allen before and introduced himself by name. Sidarth says that Allen is allegedly “legendarily good with names.”

Jon Stewart and Rob Corddry discuss the story and Corddry reveals that he’s from Macaca.

It seems very apparent that Senator Allen is a Racialist.

Stewart: This was a real incident on Allen’s campaign. Was there any long-term effect to what he said?

Corddry: Well, between you and me, I don’t know what ‘Macaque’ means, but it sure as sh– sounds racist. And John, here in Virginia, I’m still not sure if that helps or hurts a guy. “

Objections to the Plan B pill:

This is one of the best Ali G clips of all time… Ali G interviewing 60 Minutes’ Andy Rooney.